went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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