so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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