He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
