awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
