My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
