I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
