I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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