that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
