pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
