i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
