forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
