I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
