I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ketchup is God's man juice
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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