I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
