I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Terrible idea I love it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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