So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
