And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
