If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
