I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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