gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
