Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
