its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're like the curious george of whores
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
