so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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