I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
