But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
