The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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