his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
