I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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