is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
