We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize