my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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