You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
