This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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