There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
