My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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