One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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