i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
