doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Did I show you my penis last night?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
