I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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