You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize