apparently the secret to your success is patron
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
