No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How naked do you want me to be?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
