I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
