found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
