i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
