Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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