remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She even gives head with a lisp.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
