You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
