what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
All the doctor said was why
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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