my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize