I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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