I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize