ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
