Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
