i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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