just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
