If that was your dad, he is hot
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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