i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
