Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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