This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
