Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
