community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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