I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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