Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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