nut hugger
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize