i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
