just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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