His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
