Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize